3 weeks in...

Helllooo~~

It has been 3 weeks since the year has started. And I just wanted to say how time seems to be passing so slowly... Honestly, the hours in a day fly by and yet the days are crawling like a baby taking its first steps. Thought 2013 can be likened to that. At least for me. The time has come again where I am the oldest in the school. The responsibilities were as much the same as they were when I was in P6. Just much heavier since I am older. I was 12 then. Young and naive. Now I am going to be 16...It is really time for me to start being more mature.

2013 has been okay-ish so far. I have actually been sleeping really early. And I have been waking up much more refreshed and all. I think I should try to sleep early now since I am definitely going to be much busier as the year goes by and the study loads get heavier. It is eventually become a habit- a good habit at that!

However, I am still battling with the problem of getting easily distracted while I am on the computer. And I still have not really started doing my work yet. I still tell myself that I will do it tomorrow -.- I even bought a notebook to write in all my notes and I have barely used that!

Again, the number one reason is that I am too caught up with training. I feel so tired after training these days. And our competition has already started. My stamina really dropped since the December holidays... I usually don't feel that tired after training.

Oh god! Training is another headache altogether! I keep feeling as if I am not giving my best; giving my all. On some days, I'd find myself thinking about how many months there are left until I don't have to train anymore. I should not be thinking like that. Such a negative outlook on trainings.

I think I have to psych myself more. And I need to put in more effort for my stamina. It is already my last year of playing, I need to give it all I've got! We've already played two matches so far. And our last match for our qualifying round into the semi-finals is the most important one of them all. And I need to be a player whom my coach can trust to put down on court and help the team score points.

My coach have told me countless times that I have the skills. It is just that I do not want to put in the effort she knows I can give. I think I agree with her. I do not know why I am so weak-minded as to easily give up when I am tired. The other players are tired too! What makes me so special?

I think that when I get tired, I get discouraged and I don't want to put in the effort of defending harder. And then, my playing becomes sloppy and weak. This should not be the behaviour of someone who has 5 years of experience behind her!! (Note my double exclamation marks)

Henceforth, from today onwards, I promise to give it my all for all my trainings and my games. I have never lasted one entire quarter before. I need to be able to do that for my games. I MUST PERSEVERE ON! 

Last Recollections and New Beginnings

Hey Y'all!

HAPPY FREAKING NEW YEAR! WE SURVIVED THE APOCALYPSE!

My title sounds so cheem, right! But honestly, those are the only words to describe what I'm about to talk about in this post. Hey, it's 1st January, everybody will think about the past year on this date, every year. And I am no different. I'll start off by recollecting the past year, what I did; good and bad, and what I wished I did etc.

Anyways, I felt that last year, I have let myself down really badly. I mean, I'm already 15 and halfway through completing my secondary education, and yet I've failed to meet expectations. My parents', my teachers', my coaches, and especially me.

I have failed to make any significant impression be it with my trainings or my studies. I keep telling myself that I'll try harder the next time round, I'll do better next time, and yet, that next time never comes. I'm always stuck on the same level. I hardly ever get out of my comfort zone at all. And the minimal times that I do, I go back to my comfort zone.

This really frustrates me because I told myself last year that I will improve; I will do this and that. Heck, I even made a detailed plan in one of my many notebooks. All gone to waste, all for nought. I do not want the same thing to happen again. I really really really REALLY want to make a very big improvement in everything I do. I want to myself to persevere in anything that I choose to do. Whether it be in studying or in trainings. I NEED to make myself endure. To keep myself focused on the goal ahead of me and not get distracted by other things.

And since that is out of the way, I am ready to restructure and plan my future goals. And I making the skeleton right now this instant. I'll be slowly adding the flesh as the year go by.

Goal # 1: My studies

I will try my utmost best to listen in class and to always take down notes so that I can revise later on. I should get a thick notebook for taking down general notes. And I must make it a habit of always taking down notes. I hardly ever made notes and it nearly cost me in the exams. So I must take down notes when the school year begins. I have especially disappointed my mother this year with my bad attitude towards studying and I should amend that immediately.

I should revise whatever the teachers have taught me as and when as possible so as to keep my memory fresh on everything that I have learnt and I can do that by sleeping early so that I'm not sleep-deprived the next day and thus, unable to concentrate. I should revise everything that I have learnt that day when I return home from school and revise what I was taught the entire week in the weekends.

On the topic of revising, I should complete the work given to me on time and not leave until the next day. That is a very bad habit I have acquired since coming to secondary school as the teachers hardly ever check our work (they just go through it in class; saves them a lot of time). I must emulate the behaviour of my other friends who consistently complete their work.

That's about it for my studies :))

Goal # 2: Trainings

This section might be pretty short, seeing as it is my last year. Being Sec 4, our trainings are pretty much over once competition has finished. Being in 'B' division, competitions will finish in around mid-April. But, until then, I want to put in my utmost best for all my trainings until then.

It seems that I have remained at the same standard as I was in Sec 1. I honestly want to improve. I have been playing the same sport since I was 10. And I might not continue playing after Secondary school. So, I need to give it my best this year.

It might help that I also improve my fitness outside of trainings. We train 3 times a week, but I still need to improve on my fitness. I need run more often. Probably on weekends or something.

Goal # 3: Health

Ugh, last year was horrible. I kept sleeping so late and I ate everything in sight. I should really control my computer urges and quit it when it is time to sleep. I am going to have alot of problems when I get older because of my stupid sleeping habits. Heck, I think I have become a little insomniac because of that.

I should sleep at 11pm every night unless I have some major work to do. And I should stop eating everything in sight. I really need to lose some weight...even my mother thinks so. I have literally become a shapeless blob. Clothes don't look nice on me anymore.

Goal # 4: Life In General

I should take life as it is. Surprises and all. Enjoy every minute of it and also take control of it. :)